I thought about going for a little trip with the car today as the weather was grey and rainy again, but after I brought the children to school it was still dark. To make the best use of the time waiting for light I started organizing a bit in the house.

That’s where I found an 22 year old picture of an important part of my life and from there on I forgot all about trips, birds and what have you.

I guess that sentimentality comes with age, doesn’t it. But I found it hard to understand that the things I remembered and thought about are still there (I googled a lot), but they are of course no longer the same and that time and situation is gone. Forever.

I had a hard time understanding why I experienced and went through that period, as my present life is very different. Shouldn’t there be some kind of meaning with life? Did I learn from it? Do I use what I have learned?

I had so much yearning for that experience back then, such a longing, that it felt unreal and not right that it is all gone.

And now here I am, watching birds.

It’s the best I can do.